I bought a skateboard this morning. My second pro skateboard. Mmm. It's good.
http://www.unionfive.fi/uploads/images/dgk/dgk-deck-inspiration-stevie.jpg
That's my deck. I liked it, even though it's a bit... I don't know. I care not what other people think about it, I like it, and that's good enough for me. Rides nicely.
My neck hurts. That's what happens if you party too hard. Ok, it wasn't really partying, but it was good. Heavy metal bars are sweet. Especially after 5 beers. I'm surprised I didn't throw up. I don't drink much, the last time I had 3 beers I threw up all over the grass... But since then my sister has gotten me used to drinking larger amounts of Southern Comfort. I like it.
One bad thing is that I can't remember most of the night's happenings. At least I was not alone. I had my guardian angel with me... In fact, it was his birthday we were celebrating. He tells me he had a good time, I think I believe him. No, I do. And another thing, the night's happenings aren't a complete blank. I do remember some things. Most, in fact. So not too many worries there.
I have decided not to do that again. It was fun, but it's not fair on The Boy. 4 more months... I miss him a lot at the moment. Ah well. Life.
Billie Holiday is really... wow. I am surprised by some of her lyrics. Quite... wow. But nice. It's not like your typical Britney or rapper or whoever. It's more... It's simpler. Cleaner. More the way it's supposed to be. At least to my mind. Rock on, Billie.
I gave up smoking again. But this time I think is the last. Because I really don't want to smoke. I mean, I'm so indifferent towards it, that it's actually negative. I haven't had a fag for... 5 days? 6? I'm not sure. I don't feel I need one either. So it's all good.
The bedroom wall has been graffiti-fied. Thanks to my genius. If I had a camera I would show you what a dump it looks like. But yeah. It seriously looks like one of those old warehouses in druggy-people films where all the junkies hang out and get high. Derelict would be a word. Crap would be another. Modern art might be another. Maybe not. What the hell. Again, I like it, so no problemo.
I need a shower. Skateboarding makes you sweat. Aerobic exercise. It's fun as well. I think I will be able to do stuff this time. Because I don't want to hang out with any skaters, I just want to skate. And be good. Not just for a girl, but average for a boy as well. That would be so sweet. But lots of time and energy must be consumed... That's ok. I have no job and I don't do school. Hee hee... Perfect.
Well, that's it for now.

I've been seeing things.
Wow. That was not what I wanted to say. Well anyway, I won't backspace it. It makes me look like a loony. Which may or may not be true. That's not the issue.
Recently, I've noticed that people around me, or in my scope of vision via the Internet or whatever, have been stepping up to do "things". To achieve stuff. To develope their skills or themselves. This is the sort of thing that should really be contagious, but most of the time it isn't. But today, for me, it is.
The problem is, I don't know what to do. There isn't that much choice or selection for me at the moment. And also there's the thing of...
"Muuuuum... I'm bored."
"Why don't you do the washing up? Read a book? Knit? Train for a marathon? Watch all three of the Lord of the Rings films in one go?(etc)"
"That's boring..."
"Only a boring person gets bored."
"Thanks Mum."
Normally, I would gladly do all of those things, but it's my mindset that tells me I don't want to do any of them. No matter what my poor mother might say, I will answer it with a resounding NO. Just because I'm an arse. I feel sorry for my parents.
Anyway, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. It's hard, because most of the normal things I can already do. Learn guitar... Done. Read. Ugh. Write a bunch of stuff. Already do. Tidy up my stuff (I don't have a room to myself. That's another story in itself.). I don't have enough stuff for that to take any time.
OK!!! It truly IS the mindset! I must defeat this awful monster. I must overcome it's terrible... Something.
I can't even write. Darn me.
I WILL find something.
Yes.
Well. Now I'm at the SO's house staying with his family. It is kind of weird. But not as weird as it was before. I'll be here for a while, so I better get used to it. I like it though. They're very nice. I wish there was something I could do to... repay them? Whatever. Be useful. That's what I want.
It's not that hard, really. I just have to take the leap of faith and... What the heck am I on about? Oh my... Ok, who cares. Just be me.
I want to cut my hair again. I like cutting my hair.
Feel good. 

it's gotten really complicated. i'm not quite sure what actually is going on, physically and mentally. some weird shit is going down, i can say that.
ok. so i've got a job now. it starts on monday, i am happy that that got sorted out. woo hoo... and the house thing is coming along well as well. this time next week i should be in my own place. well... rented. but you know what i mean. after living other people's houses for so long it's going to be completely sweet to have my own space.Mmm... oh yeah.
my stomache has gone insane. i threw up for no apparent reason yesterday, and today my tummy was being weird again. i threw up in my mouth a couple of times. but what is one going to do. i don't want to think that it is what i think it is... but who knows. i'll have to wait a month to know that. darn.
you see? it's gone strange.
well anyway, thank goodness for music.

ı'm pretty sure ı've got a fever. ı'm also pretty sure ı'm goıng to get that stupıd tonsıl ınfectıon ı had a couple of months ago agaın. ı hope ı won't though. ıt just seems... ınevıtable. lıke ı can't escape from ıt's grıp. ıt's got me, lıke ın a bad dream, and ı cannot run away from ıt...
depressıng.
ı wonder how many tımes ı've wrıtten emaıls, blog entrıes and the lıke when ı've had a fever. ı thınk ıt's a faır amount. sometımes ıt seems that thıngs flow more easıly when you're slıghtly out of ıt. but then agaın, ı don't read what ı've wrıtten very often. so ıt may be complete and utter nonsense. actually, now that ı thınk about ıt, most of the stuff ı wrıte ıs complete and utter nonsense anyway. ah well.
ı need sleep. ı thınk ı wıll go to bed after thıs. ın thıs past week ı've slept a rough grand-total of... 12 hours. somethıng lıke that. ıt's been bad thıs week. ı fınd ıt hard to get to sleep anyway, but now... ıt's arghhh. ırrıtatıng. but ı can stıll functıon. ın fact, ı thınk most of the tıme ı functıon better wıth less sleep than more. because when one sleeps too much one feels drowsy all the tıme... at least ı do.
turkısh food ıs The Best. ok, The Best food ı've had so far. ı mıssed ıt so much, man! ıt's weırd. ı thınk ı just love beıng ın turkey. turkey rocks. hee hee. ı dıslıke beıng ın england for some strange reason. ı don't fıt ın well there. not that ı really blend ın here or anythıng, but at least here ıt's obvıous that ı am dıfferent just because of my physıcal appearance. ı have an excuse for actıng weırd sort of thıng. whereas ın england ıt's not lıke that. well, not really. the norms are really set ın and ı fınd ıt hard to comply to them. who cares, eh? ıt's not really that ımportant.
here ıs somethıng that IS ımportant though. ıt's Oreo Tıme. man... ı love oreos. for a whıle they were all ı ate. ıt's amazıng what crap you can force your body to lıve on... but ı guess after a whıle ıt detorıates. well, obvıously. well, whatever. ı wıll leave now.
gıve my love to the prıncesses...
"who?"
"you'll see..."
Mmm...

I love chewing gum. And bubble gum. Although I never really figured out what the difference was. Most people say that chewing gum better for chewing and bubble gum is better for blowing bubbles. I beg to differ though. I think it makes no difference if you call it chewing gum or bubble gum. Some bubble gums are awful for blowing bubbles and some chewing gums are great for it. I wonder if there is a standard for such things. Probably not.

Well, anyway, out of all the gums I have encountered thus far, my favourite one would have to be Falim. It's only found in Turkey, as far as I'm aware, and is brilliant for chewing and bubbles and everything! I think the most important factor about it is that it lasts for more than one day. I mean, I've had globs of gum for 2 weeks before. And Falim lasts the best. The taste is nice too. You can get these ones that taste like... nothing really, but they still have a taste, you can get minty ones which don't overpower your senses, you can get fruity ones which the taste just lingers in the back of your throat...

Man. It's actually one of the things I miss most about Turkey. Shows you how sad I am. But yeah, we're all allowed our own little weirdnesses. I just happen to have a lot of them.

So, I'm 18 now. I can go and drink. Oh yeah... Stuff and nonsense, I say!

Tee hee...